You can take it slowly ….
When someone dies an expected death at home in Victoria, Australia, families often wonder:
What do we do now?
It can feel as though something needs to happen immediately.
But in most cases of an expected death at home in Victoria, you are allowed to pause.
You can take it slowly.
You can:
put the kettle on
sit beside them
hold their hand
gather family into the room
open a window
light a candle
cry
be silent
say goodbye in your own way.
There is no requirement to make phone calls straight away.
When a person has been supported by a GP or community palliative care team in Victoria, and the death is expected, families often spend hours being with the person, gently and quietly, before contacting anyone.
If it is the middle of the night, it is generally safe to wait until morning. Keep the room cool if you can: a fan, air conditioning, or a slightly open window in cool weather is enough.
When you feel ready, you can contact the appropriate professional. This may be your palliative care nurse in Victoria, or it may be your GP. This depends on the plan already in place.
There is no need to call 000 unless the death was unexpected or you are unsure what has happened. In cases of an expected death at home in Victoria, emergency services are not usually required.
A doctor or authorised nurse practitioner will need to attend to complete the verification of death in Victoria and sign the Death Certificate (Cause of Death), but this does not need to happen immediately.
What matters most in those first hours is not paperwork.
What matters most is time.
Time to let reality settle.
Time to honour the body that carried the person you love.
Time for children, siblings, friends, loved ones and neighbours to come in and sit quietly.
Time to begin grieving gently, together.
Part of my role as an End-of-Life Doula providing support at home in Victoria is preparing you for this moment. This includes explaining what to expect, who to call (and when), and reassuring you that you are allowed to move slowly. When you understand the practical steps in advance, fear softens and confidence grows.
And the final hours can unfold in a way that feels calm, grounded and deeply human.
You can take it slowly.