It's not something most of us like to think about. But imagine, for a moment, that you were suddenly unable to speak for yourself. Perhaps you had an accident. Perhaps you became seriously unwell. Or perhaps you were experiencing a period where you couldn't communicate your wishes.
Who would speak for you?
And, perhaps more importantly:
Would they know what you would want?
These aren't questions we ask because we expect something terrible to happen. They are, however, questions worth considering. Because life can change unexpectedly.
Planning ahead gives you a voice
Advance care planning gives you an opportunity to think about what matters to you, talk about your wishes and document important decisions while you're able to do so. You don't have to know exactly what the future will look like. You don't need to have all the answers. You just need to start thinking and talking.
What would your family know?
We often assume the people closest to us would know what we'd want. And they probably know us very well. But knowing someone well doesn't necessarily mean knowing what decisions they would make in an unexpected medical situation.
Your loved ones may find themselves wondering:
What would Mum want?
What would Dad choose?
Am I doing the right thing?
That's a lot of responsibility to place on someone you love. Planning ahead can help take some of that uncertainty away. When you've talked about what matters to you and documented your wishes, the people around you have something to guide them.
And there's something in it for you, too
Planning ahead isn't just about making things easier for other people. There can be something wonderfully reassuring about knowing you've taken care of the important things. It can reduce that niggling feeling of “I really should sort that out.” It can give you confidence that your wishes will be known. And it can mean that, if the unexpected does happen, the people you trust aren't left trying to guess what you would have wanted.
Then you can get on with living.
You don't have to do everything today. Planning ahead can sound like a big task. It doesn't have to be.
You could start with one gentle conversation:
“If something happened and I couldn't speak for myself, I would want you to know what matters to me.”
That might be all it takes to get the conversation started. You may discover that your loved ones already understand you better than you thought. Or you may discover there are things you've never talked about.
Either way, you've started.
A gentle question to consider
If you couldn't speak for yourself tomorrow, would the people you trust know what mattered to you?
If you're not sure, perhaps that's your first small step. Not because you're expecting something to happen.
Knowing you've considered what matters, shared your wishes and planned ahead can give you more freedom to get on with living. 🌿
Photo acknowledgement: Johan Mouchet